Now this in itself isn't news to me, I read about exhilarating home births everyday, but that's just the nature of the circles I mix in, the nature of being an antenatal teacher. I applaud each and every woman that experiences an exhilarating birth as this is how birth should be.
The statement 'she was prepared' implies to me that through her initial fear, in her own words 'petrified' she had prepared in some way for her upcoming birth. Petrified women don't usually choose homebirth? I should know I have experienced homebirth.
That aside what caught my eye about this article was the bashing this woman took in the comments section afterwards. The almost exclusive negativity towards what should have been a positive read.
Why do we do this? Why is it that we feel the need to berate women who achieve a great birthing experience. We would rather walk around wearing the 'I had the worst birth in Britain and I'm glad my partner saw it' badge. By the way most of the negativity came from UK readers.
I find this so frustrating! We have such a negative attitude towards other women! Where is the solidarity? The support? The congratulations?
Not every woman who experiences a negative birth passes this on to others; many women will suffer in silence and indeed many won't even consider their birth to be traumatic? Assisted births are pretty common place are they not?
But what is birth trauma anyway? It's subjective; it's your perception of a positive or negative experience. Feelings of being out of control can be enough to cause a negative impact so why would we wish to impose this on to other women?
I bet every one of us can say that we've been told a not so positive birth story whilst pregnant. A well wisher sharing their experience. Women just love to share their negative experiences but is this not just a cry for validation? A plea for someone else to listen to what happened to them and agree it shouldn't have happened?
Just like Hayley Cotton, I had a fantastic home birth, I did it with no drugs and I felt exhilarated too! Sure it was intense but it was beautiful and calm. My start to motherhood was fantastic. Physically and mentally I was in great shape afterwards.
I can say this and I don't care about a backlash because I had the horrific birth first time round...the birth you'll all be glad I had. The birth that earned me my stripes. Leaving me with stitches and post natal depression. An inability to be the best mother I could have been. So well done me!
This changed me forever so second time I wasn't leaving my birth to fate. I prepared, I gained an understanding of what had happened to me first time and I learned what I needed to do to avoid interventions, drugs, pain and a bloody awful experience. I understood choice and the ability to say yes or no.
Rather than leaving me bitter about other women's great births I spent time reflecting on what had happened to me and how birth could be different leading me on to the antenatal path of helping other women achieve a positive birthing experience...note I said positive not natural!
Amazing birth stories generally aren't a fluke, a lucky coincidence or fate they happen to women who have an inner awareness, they care more about themselves and their babies foremost over buggies, perfect preps and going home outfits. They care about their bodies, their mental well being and the impact this has on motherhood so they prepare for birth. They know what is best for them and they are able to ditch the fear!
So to women everywhere...
It's your birth! Your body! Your experience! and it's about time women started taking ownership for this rather than leaving birth to fate.
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